Yep and this is why I’m single……

Dating in 2014 is a combination of the game show Survivor and Lets Make A Deal. However, at the end of the game, there is not $100,000 prize. There is, however, a lifetime of heartburn and self doubt if you lose.  I am not sure when dating became so complicated. When did it go from a fun thing to do, to game show rules?

The closer I get to 30, the more I realize that dating is not something you take lightly. It’s more like an extended episode of Hunger Games or even worse an American Idol audition. You have to outsmart your opponent, be on alert at all times, and be ready for anything. One must dress like a cover model and be the same weight as one also. Let’s not forget to impress their friends and family. Then, if you are lucky, you will get the golden ticket that equates to having the title of “Dating.”

I have been single voluntary for 2 years now and while at first I was ok with it, I now feel like I will be that creepy old lady with animals that over take the house and end up on some Dateline unsolved investigations. Ok, so maybe I’m being a tad bit extreme. My story may not make it to Dateline but I so could be on the local news at 10.  As I approach the need to start dating again, I realize I may need an agent to help me get the gig.   You no longer can just go out an mingle with people.  You now have to bring a resume, 2 references, a credit check paper and an essay on why this person should date you. Really, who has time for all of that?  I want to go on a date not apply for home loan.

Dating now these days comes with rules and regulations that I clearly don’t know where they came from or understand them at all.  Have I been out of the game for that long that I missed the memo that everything changed?  So today, I would like to talk about the top 4 dating rules that I don’t understand:

4: The 3 Day rule

This by far is the most stupid rule I have ever heard of. If you are unfamiliar with this “oh-so stupid rule” please let me introduce you to it. The rule states that if you give out your number or if you receive a number, you have to wait 3 days to call that person.  Yep, you read that right. There is a waiting period on when it is ok to call someone. Now, can someone please explain to me why must I wait a 3 days to tell someone that I am interested in them?  I mean the rule makes it seem that if I tell them sooner I will be considered a stage 5 clinger. But if I wait 4 days, it means I’m not interested. So, I want to know, does this rule apply to everything in life. Like if I get a burger, do I need to wait 3 days to eat it or not? See, pointless rule.

3: If the woman pays for a date, then it’s not date

Sweet baby Jesus, if this is not by far the dumbest thing I have ever heard. So you mean to tell me that if a woman decided to take a man out to dinner and a movie and pays it’s not a date? So, what is it then? A tourist attraction? Now don’t get me wrong, I do believe in the man paying for dates, but I believe in women paying also.  It is no way of me demeaning men by paying. But, I do believe if we are dating, it should be equal for us in majority of the things we do.

2:  I have a list of requirements that must be met in order for us to be together.

Now this one is tricky because I do believe in having certain standards when dating people. For example, stating that you would not date someone who is not in church when church is very important to you is understandable. However, stating that your mate must look like a Paul Walker, cook like the Food Network, and have the bank account of Bill Gates. Really, what planet are you living on and how long have you been there?

1:  I can’t date you if you date my friend in preschool

I am not even sure how this applies but sadly enough, it does.  So let me get this right, he dated your friend in Preschool 22 years ago and now that he is interested in you, dating him is a no-no because of his past. Who knew that sharing juice boxes in preschool would come back and haunt you?  I’m not sure what’s dumber: the fact that rule exists or the fact that more women hold it as some sort of Holy Grail rule.

These are just a few of the dumb rules that exist. Why, I don’t know but if this is what dating has come to, I might as well be a nun.

I came…. I saw….. I danced ….

---Jennifer 

Justin Beiber is under scrutiny, what about Khalil?

Ok, so we all have had our share of the amazing Justin Beiber and his DUI. To be honest, I'm glad he finally got arrested. This could be the straw that broke the camel's back that could put him into rehab. Just like when Amanda Bynes try to set things on fire, they put her in a mental hospital.

And let's praise the good lord above that he did not hurt anyone.It makes me so angry that his "belibers" are supporting him so much and are not looking at the fact that he broke the law and endangered lives. I understand he may be a little misguided but everyone should take responsibility and own up to their mistakes. That's life and that's how you learn from it.

But enough about my opinions on the Beibs, there was another young gentleman who was also apart of the racing of the Ferraris fiasco. Another guy who was speeding in a residential area. Another person who was charged for driving under the influence. His name is Khalil. He is also 19 years old and an artist signed under Def Jam records.

I know Justin has been around longer, but why aren't we focusing on Khalil as well? He also was busted for a serious crime. Even though he's not as popular, we need to be taking this opportunity to use this as an example of what not to do. Our younger generation needs to know that this is not ok and/or normal.

But then, I wondered why they really didn't say too much about him.And this is just me thinking with my imagination but...

One word: mom.

I think all African-American [males] know that if they were to get into trouble like this, there are 2 things that would happen:

1. The first thing their mom would do is to protect them. "Let me call my lawyer" Mom will somehow hire a PR team and a great attorney to make sure that this, 'goes away.' She would work 3 jobs if she need to all while making him feel guilty and making their child think that she is doing nothing. 
2. The second thing that would happen is... he would get his butt beat. Plain and simple. Momma don't play that and you knew better before you did that! She probably has him on a strict lock down and will make sure that does NOT happen again. She will be with him for every court date to when he goes to bed. 

I could be wrong... or 100% correct. 

But in all honesty, I hope these boys get the help that they need. As you can see, not everyone can handle the entertainment world. They have to have a good foundation and support system to make sure they aren't falling into the negative world of being famous. 

So for now, good job to Khalil for looking like the side kick. Hopefully, you can take care of your issues before spiraling out of control like your good buddy Justin. Things will get better if you're willing to make a change to make them better and actually prosper in the career of singing. 

---Laurie

Now I'm no Alcoholic...

It's been 5 weeks since my last drink. Funny I sound like I'm having an introduction to an AA meeting, but I'm just coming to terms that I like my liquor.

Now I know it sounds like I'm about to have a drunken confession, but that's not the case. I was raised a "good Christian girl" you go to church and you stay away for bad things like liquor. Well that was all fine and dandy until I had my first drink and my eyes were opened to a whole new world. One drink became 2 which be came 5, and next thing you know your drink wine out if a bottle with a crazy straw. Don't judge me.

So, I'm here to give the 10 signs when you need to put the bottle down:

10: You decide on what functions to go to depending on if there is going to be liquor there or not 

9: You don't know the name of songs but you have memorized the list of the bar drinks at TGI Fridays without even blinking 

8: You stop taking Communion because they don't use real wine

7: You don't know where a library is but you know where every liquor store is in your state

6: You get offended when people question you on your liquor intake

5: You read number 6 and got a little angry

4 You have a collection on empty bottles on your counter and you are proud of it like it's trophies

3: You drink wine out the bottle and feel no shame

2: You drink anything out of the bottle and your ok with it

1: You wake up thinking about happy hour

Now, I'm not judging anyone who fits any of these top 10. Hey, I've been there. No judgment here. So until we meet again, remember you're only an alcoholic if you drink alone.

I came... I saw... I danced... I conquered.
---Jennifer